Funny how things conspire around and tell you that you're doing the wrong thing. You think about it so many times and put the blame to everywhere or anyone you could think of. You convince yourself it's not worth the risk but you keep on coming back. Funnier to realize that at times you'd be the one giving him reasons to think you're unworthy of him. You feel ashamed after realizing what you've done - ashamed to yourself and your big fucking mouth that you even allowed verbalizing things. When is enough gonna be enough? When you'll be at a losing end? And nothing left of you at all? When will you stop the insanity?