It pays to be so concerned to what others think about you, it pays to want to please people around you. I wish I can be careless and secured with my own self and not mind if people hate me much or love me. Grew up without a good foundation to build a trust and learn to easily give it to someone, it effects my stability now that I am a grown up. I do my best to shake off the negative thoughts and speculations, paranoia that I need to take out. Finding love from someone who can secure me, all were given but seems like not enough. Lord help me and not let myself eat me. I am my worst enemy.